Continuum

Continuum, anything that goes through a gradual transition from one condition to a different condition.

Most of us are still stuck in this transition where we metamorphose from a high-school graduate to a soon-to-be pre-university student. Continuum .. that's the state that I'm in.
So many things had happened in the last 8 months of my absence from this space. Along the way, I've ..

1. made it through SPM without a bruise, ( I was quite relaxed to be honest, watching Glee all some more o.o ) .. probably only with some lack of sleep,
2. enjoyed my post-SPM days without doing much that helped me improve myself in various ways,
3. rejoiced over my SPM results,
4. spent a lot of time digging deep into my soul .. pondering about "The Next Step",
5. watched my friends eagerly leaving to college, going their separate ways while I continue alternating between slacking at home streaming The Big Bang Theory and chilling with my few friends whom are still around this awesome tiny town. Sometimes, I really enjoy being at home. Alone at home, do whatever I want, no one to tell me what to do. I do have my anti-social moments :D
6. had an awesome time during my family trips,
7. made it in time for the JPA interview while trying not to let the effects of jet-lag overpower my body and mind,
8. been rejected by all the scholarships that I've applied for except for JPA but I wasn't really depressed though .. Maybe cos I didn't put much hope in it, so i guess the disappointment wouldn't be that great of an impact. And I keep telling myself that there are probably more ppl out there that deserved the scholarship better than me. I can't help wondering though whether what is the true meaning behind the word "scholarship"... What's the difference between scholarship and financial aid? In my opinion, scholarships should be given to those who are scholarly regardless of their financial background. And as for financial aid, it should be only for those who are scholarly AND financially challenged/unstable.. It's just my opinion, so please don't be hostile! I can go on and on about this matter but let's just leave it for my future posts,
9. decided to do Form 6. It isn't my last choice nor my first choice. It's just one of my choices. I just don't know whether it is the best choice. Sometimes I hate it when I'm given a choice .. Why can't there be just one type of Pre-University course out there? D: How greedy we humans are, eh? We want to be given a choice.. but SELECTIVELY. It's a natural phenomenon, I guess. Like how we live in a world of laziness and whatever the easy way out is, we take it. It's natural. Form 6's syllabus is tough and by doing Form 6, I feel like I'm going against nature, and usually when you go against it, something bad happens. But then again, I'm taking the road less travelled by. And that should make all the difference .. according to Robert Frost at least. So there we go, back to the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" and "out of sight, out of mind" argument. Part of me wished that I will get the JPA scholarship and the other half wished that I'll stay for Form 6. A Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde moment haha. I'm still not done lazing though, as in I'm not eager to start Form 6 just yet, cos I know I won't have the chance to do nothing important at all in a really long time,
10. attended my first job interview. It was rather informal though. In McD Gunung Rapat. LOL eh ! No I didn't apply for a vacancy in McD. It was for the coming Pikom PC Fair. The dude have yet to call me although he said he would. So I'm taking that as a "NO, YOU'RE NT HIRED!" since the fair is in a couple of days. Whooop me.

And so, to those out there who have already surpassed this stage of continuum, good for you! I know there will be plenty of changes and transitions that we are forced to accept in the distant future for you and me. We'll figure just how to overcome it when the time comes. For now, I'm back to my no-worries state, where my biggest concern is what's for lunch?! .. and ocassionally thinking about my next step :D

A Piece of My Childhood, exposed.

Just a few days back, I was at the McD near my house. My sister decided to treat me since I've been cooped up in my cave long enough. I was of course, delighted! It's food we're talking about! I know, i know it's just McD. What's the big deal?

You see, back then when I was a kid, I was very much deprived of fast food and pretty much what every kid likes to munch on. Thanks to my dad who was and still is very health conscious.. Not that I'm blaming him for banning my childhood cravings. He did not banned me totally from fast food, of course, just not as frequent as most kids would have a meal there. So I would always savour the moment, savour the taste. But then again, I had baby fats, and I swear if you kicked me down a hill, I would roll down the hill like a ball. Only with hair..

It's just that every time I patronize a fast food outlet, I see cheerful kids munching on fries which makes me ponder about my childhood.
So, that day when I was at McD, I saw this kid with his mum entering. They looked a bit timid, I would say. Not very well to do I suppose.. They walked slowly to the counter, stared at the price of a McValue Meal, and then walked off without ordering anything. I saw how the kid stared longingly at it and he kinda reminded me of me.. Just that his mum must have felt the pain of not having the ability to buy him a McValue Meal. But then again, it's just my assumption. They then proceeded to the play area and the kid instantaneously brightened up. I guess that's part of being a kid. They find joy in the smallest things possible. We, on the other hand, find joy in very little things. Interesting huh how things work as we grow?

What's a piece of your childhood?

Issues.

I have issues with what should I blog about. Really.

I keep thinking this is not worth blogging about, that is also not worth blogging about and VOILA! A dead blog is what you'll get. I'm not surprise why Nuffnang has been such a cheapo and only give me 50 cents (at least I think it's 50 cents the last time I checked) for over a year.


I've been blog hopping and I came across Krity's post where she mentioned about a Bio lesson on child labour. You know, my class's Bio lessons are pretty mundane. Rosmawati would be talking away in front in what seems to be English but it sounds more like gibberish/gobbledygook to me and my brains just automatically tunes off to find a comfy spot of the table. What with the cosy surrounding of the lab.. I'm not entirely sure whether my grades would be any better even if I did pay attention during her classes.


Back to the child labour, it's mind-blowing to know that we're the product of the fusion of the smallest cell and the biggest cell in our body. It's pretty awesome how our body works, ey? Most women say that the process of giving birth is probably one of the most beautiful phase in their life. I guess I'm just not enlightened by my mum or something. I mean how can a dilation of 10cm be the most beautiful process of one's life??? I can picture myself going YEEEEEEEE-OOOOWWWWWW!!. I cannot possibly take in every second of child labour as if Nasmir gave me an unlimited supply of mamak food for the rest of my life. Maybe it takes time to come to a stage to realise child bearing is a painful yet beautiful process.



I can't help but to wonder, why is it that God chose women to bear kids? Why not men? Why not let them have a taste of what it truly feels to be pregnant so that they would realise the consequences of knocking girls up? Enlighten me, anyone?

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Updates

Ever since Mr. Ngoi installed the wireless connection at Ngoi's residence, I've been onlining. Daily. DAILY! And with a desktop and a laptop, I can almost online whenever I want to even if I'm pooping in the toilet. Oh oh and not to mention my annoying sister whom Instant Messages me for fun even if she is just sitting next to me -.- Sometimes I do doubt whether is she really 21.

Five Minutes to Ponder ?

"You don't know what you've got until it's gone. "

Everyone should have heard of the death of Michael Jackson by now. If you have not, God bless you! You must be a really sad person who is deprived of entertainment and human contact. I am not exactly a hardcore fan of MJ nor do I listen to his song. Okay, I'll be very honest. If it wasn't because of his death, we wouldn't be listening to his songs on the radio channels. I wouldn't log on to Youtube and start searching for MJ's songs. I wouldn't even have given MJ some thought on an ordinary day what more listening to his songs. I'm actually disappointed with myself for not giving his songs a chance, for not giving MJ a chance. Underneath the artificial face is probably a real black man with feelings who truly cares for the welfare of troubled kids. What frustrates me the most is that why now? Why do I only see this now? Why is it that the world only see this side of him now when he is already dead? Why listen to his songs now but not before this? I guess it all balls down to the statement above. "You don't know what you've got until it's gone." True enough, right? Taking things for granted, taking your loved ones for granted. We're only humans.. I'm still figuring out how to be contented and not to take anything for granted. Michael Jackson is like a reminder to myself to appreciate my family and friends around me. Especially my grandfather whom will eventually leave me behind. For this, I would like to thank you, Michael Jackson for shedding some light and of course (!) , discovering pop music and the ever-so-famous-move, the moonwalk.


P/S: Finally a post after a month, huh? There were a lot to blog about in this one month but I guess I was too lazy to (?) I apologise for that. In the mean time, I'm trying to bond with Bio since I scored a C for mid year. See! I wasn't kidding about screwing Bio kau kau. Anyone out there that can knock some Bio in me? :D

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Just a short update since I've been so quiet lately.

Warning : Eva's rantings below. Don't read if you don't want to. It may bore you.

Screwed Bio. Like kau kau I tell you. Amen!
And being a smart ass, I forgot to bring my pencil case to school today. EXAM SOMEMORE! How smart. I'm under extreme pressure lately. So please bear with my rantings. And my piano recital exam is on Friday. FRIDAY! That adds on the pressure I'm going through. Actually, that is the main reason why am I so pressured. It's my first time taking a recital exam after the graded stages. I know I have been bugging my friends about it, about me being nervous, not being confident with myself. But I really don't wanna disappoint my teacher and most importantly, myself.. I should really stop being too hard on myself. Both mid year and piano exams. Part of me can't wait for it to be over.
It's like I always have something to do! Argh.

My sister is turning a deaf ear to me cos she's to busy enjoying her post exam life and playing Hell's Kitchen on Muka Buku.